tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61977540189560885012024-03-12T21:20:05.266-07:00The Misadventures of a Perfect Life♥One nail short of a picket fence. The ups, the downs and everything in between, this is our life.Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.comBlogger101125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-18073107796636029452012-12-29T16:38:00.002-08:002012-12-29T16:40:29.920-08:00Happy Holidays<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #444444;"><i>Happy Holidays from Mine to Yours </i></span><u><i><br /></i></u></h2>
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This year the winter season didn't come any easier than the last, missing my grandma Betty and my family. Tristan however did have it off and that alone was fantastic!<br />
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We were able to go to his grandparents for Thanksgiving for the first time in years and even spent a little time with my grandparents and family.<br />
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Mid-holiday we got a package in the mail! The most exciting thing ever, I don't care who you are. It came with beautiful clothes and delicious chocolates from my heart in France. I love my grandma Micheline so much, she's supposed to move back and I'm thinking about asking her if she wants to live with Us - of course we'd move to a bigger house. <br />
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For Christmas we decided to stay home but went to Gig Harbor for Christmas Eve and that was wonderful. My grandma Wendy asked permission to squeeze the crap out of Tristan because she likes him so much and it gave me the warm and fuzzies. My grandpa dressed up as Santa, something I haven't seen since I was a child so that was more than awesome. <br />
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Christmas Eve was beautiful, the best we've had in a while, I even felt like my grandma Betty was with me... then our van died. I was in tears, my heart ripped from my chest and all hope lost. I mean come on? Seriously, can anything go right for more than 2 seconds? I told Tristan I want to take the seats out and set up a fort in our house for me to lounge back and close my eyes and pretend everything is still here. We'll see. <br />
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For the New Year I'm thinking sparkling cider, comfy pajamas, a blanket fort and a good movie. This body is pooped and there's a lot to prepare for next year. Bring-it-on!<br />
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Any big New Year plans worth bragging about?Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-36985715517188641762012-06-11T14:29:00.002-07:002012-06-11T14:29:20.140-07:00Our New Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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To say the least, this is our garden. Although, I've recently moved and replanted everything because it was looking crowded and I'm not done picking flowers out. I liked it better this way but I have to remind myself there will be more pretty stuff in the garden's middle soon.<br />
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If you know of a safe way to keep bugs from eating our basil and parsley I'd appreciate it, as well as a natural at home remedy for washing fruits before eating them.Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-45109216567238224372012-05-27T11:49:00.001-07:002012-06-29T09:32:09.779-07:00Seven Days!First off I'd like to state that today is day seven of my eight week challenge. I'm surprisingly down 2.6lbs and every muscle in my body is being used and feels great! I most look forward to being flexible, healthy and holding some longevity in my bones. Oh, and that smaller pair of jeans will be nice too!<br />
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This week Tristan and I took a day off, more like 2hrs, but it was ours. We went to The Rock, just the two of us, thanks to his dad. Our adventure started out terrible and not so good but it ended up being really great and that's the important part. We also realized we need this more, more time for us, because we Never take Any <br />
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Yesterday for a little support we walked to Lowes, our new favorite place. We got our first strawberry plant, some yellow lilies and a hanging basket. Tristan's goody was his sander, which he's been wanting for a while. It was going to be his Father's Day gift but he insisted upon taking it out of his allowance. That's alright, we got something else up our sleeves.<br />
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With everything going on; the move, the gardening, the workout challenge, the organizing of the house, the constant cooking and cleaning, waking up with the kids, going to bed right after Tristan leaves... I'm exhausted. I can't remember when my last minute to myself was and Every time I try to take a bubble bath the tub makes it about half way before going extremely cold on me...<br />
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Today while trying to get some reviews done, (I'm so behind), the kids decided not to listen. On top of not listening it was a nightmare. I was in the process of doing something when I heard a loud boom, a bright light and some screaming. Logan had stuck some keys in the light socket. One of the keys was fried, he was shaking and in shock and Tristan ... well, he was sleeping and when I woke him up he just laid there. Me? I was overwhelmed, my dad is camping and I didn't know who to call. I burst in to tears and buried my head under the covers midstream for a panic attack.<br />
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Everyone is fine now, back to not listening. I'm still exhausted, have some gardening to get done today. I say today is a day for relaxing. As a family we're supposed to go walking tonight for 45 minutes to an hour. Of course with laid plans and a good weather forecast it's freezing nipples outside. Regardless, my garden won't plant itself and it brings me peace and pride. I love it.<br />
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For the first time in my life I feel like I'm at home. I feel like we have control of our situation instead of the other way around. We have opportunities to take time for our hobbies instead of hide in the stress. I love the openness of our new home, the yard, the light and all the windows. Our other place is trying to take us for $1,900 but that's another story and hopefully one we can win.<br />
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To fresh starts and new beginnings! Hope you guys enjoy your day. I'm going crazy but I'm glad we have a home, a safe home, and that we're together.Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-83019621168599583242012-05-08T13:51:00.004-07:002012-05-08T13:51:51.650-07:00You called for a an "ass kicking"?So, as a review writer for Lilac City Momma I have been allowed to test and try quite a few things. A couple of days ago Hanan, the woman behind it all, asked me, "would you want to try - fitness program called The Gunnar Challenge". To which my response was "I think a good ass kicking is just what I need." Little did I know this is just what I'm going to get.<br />
<br />I think it starts officially May 21st, which gives me a little time to prep, but today there was a workout. I missed it so I decided to do the Wild Card work out on their website. Rofl! I am currently half way through the first rep. I started to get shakey so I had to eat, something I always forget to do.<br />
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Anyways, I'm sweating, I'm burning and I know this is going to be hard so I figured I'd share in hopes of words of encouragement as well as a great body to show off afterwards. (I mean this in the least cocky way, I have 30lbs to lose and I want my body back. Even though I know it will never be the same after kids I still have a right to be happy and feel sexy) This summer I want a Victoria Secret swimsuit, and I want to earn it.<br />
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So, here's to a fit and healthy summer packed with adventures, learning and good changes!<br />
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*pictures laterAmanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-11291075298821214052012-04-30T14:40:00.003-07:002012-04-30T14:40:41.468-07:00Our Magic NumberI'll be the first to admit that I need me time. The kids are hanging on me 24/7 and sometimes when I sleep. I can never catch a break but I love them more than anything in the world. It might come as a surprise to some, or maybe not, but I have always wanted a ton of kids. I was one of three, and my sister was ten years younger so I don't count it since she's her own generation. My grandpa, one of seven and my teacher Mr. Callero, one of sixteen or seventeen. Now, I don't want That many but I was hoping for four.<br />
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My brother and sister do not want kids and if it happens it will be ten years off so when Tristan and I started dating I was quite excited to meet all his nieces and nephews. His family is a big family and I wanted to add to that. Recently there's been debate as if that is going to happen and it literally breaks my heart.<br />
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<b>Our magic number is TWO.</b><br />
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And I'll tell you why.<br />
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<li>Right now he's the only one working and more kids would be stretching us thinner. While I object to have more kids this year on finances alone I was at least hoping to have more next year.</li>
<li>When it comes to getting out $X.xx is multiplied by our family household. Right now it would be $30-40 to eat out. The more heads the less chances of us eating out. While this isn't enough of a sacrifice, this also applies to family trips to the zoos, museums, parks and other activities. We both want to be able to do this often with our children. </li>
<li>1/1 Ratio. Right now if Olivia wants daddy chances are Logan is going to want mommy and I'm okay with that. Tristan feels if we have more kids that someone is going to get left out. All I have to say is he obviously doesn't see the pig pile the kids make on me while he's sleeping. I get his way of thinking but to me it's just more love to go around. </li>
<li>Growing up! This hits the hardest at the moment. The less kids we have the more we can provide for them in areas of school clothes, supplies and activities as well as when it comes time for them to start driving and eventually going to college. We want to be able to help as much as possible. Right now with Logan hitting a growth spurt and the kids needing transitional weather clothing the impact is becoming a reality of a future nightmare. </li>
<li>Babysitters. While we have and would babysit Tristan's nieces and nephews more (the numbers are in the masses) we already have a hard time getting someone to watch just our two. If we had more kids the probability would go down dramatically and as I've stated, We've had four dates in almost three years. </li>
<li>Overpopulation. While I honestly wish I could have 16 kids, and the patience to go with, the reality is even if could afford it that is just a Huge environmental impact. Those 16 kids will go on to have kids of their own and so on and I already have anxiety about current resources, costs and demands and the impact it will have on my kids and grand kid's future. (yes, I did say grand kids, and yes my kids are not even in school yet) </li>
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I love my kids more than anything in the world. It's probably unhealthy. I think they are the most amazing little thing the world has to offer and I would do anything for them. I have picture shrines on my wall, scrap books and photo books, collections of data and facts about them, any scribble they've ever made. They make my heart burst from my chest, they're my whole life.<br />
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I anticipate growing up with them, I anticipate their future lives, careers and spouses. I anticipate mostly being a grandmother and support system for them as they try and navigate their lives. They make me curious again, and hopeful. I always thought growing up that my life sucked so bad that some day something good would come to me. God gave me family .<br />
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<br />Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-73752253341590197602012-04-09T12:36:00.001-07:002012-04-09T12:42:53.268-07:00The Museum of Glass<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6DKeU86y9OI/T4MrLYA1PnI/AAAAAAAAAw4/zxT9aUGv3zA/s1600/Museum+of+Glass.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a>We've had Groupon tickets for the Museum of Glass for quite some time. Now that the weather is getting better and so is life we decided we should take the kids. I've never been but apparently Tristan and my sister, who also wanted to come, have been to the museum dozens of times.</div>
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We hit Tacoma, took the wrong exit and drove around to see the other attractions and future trips we might encounter this summer. After finding parking we decided against strollers this time and trekked it on foot. I wasn't aware that there were no cameras inside the exhibit halls but they had some beautiful structures and the glass bridge outside as well as the children's hall that you can photographs. (they make the children's drawings in to glass art if they're chosen) They were soooo cute! I wish Logan were just a little bit older.</div>
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The exhibits we saw were <a href="http://www.museumofglass.org/page.aspx?pid=528" target="_blank">BEAUTY BEYOND NATURE:The Glass Art of Paul Stankard</a> and <a href="http://www.museumofglass.org/page.aspx?pid=524" target="_blank">MILDRED HOWARD Parenthetically Speaking: It's Only a Figure of Speech.</a> I wish we would've done our homework, part of the exhibit was closed for construction of upcoming displays, and an entire section was glass punctuation, which is neat but I would've loved to see more sculptures. The attention to detail though definitely left me wanting to learn more. </div>
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My sister takes glass blowing in high school and she was really interested in how they do things, so we went to the "<a href="http://www.museumofglass.org/page.aspx?pid=415" target="_blank">Hot Shop Live!</a>" for entertainment. They were in the process of making <a href="http://www.museumofglassstore.org/Slider-Goblets-designed-by-John-Miller-P2950C12.aspx" target="_blank">slider goblets</a> during this time! They also played video in the background as well as close ups and the featured artists' other work. I find it all beautiful and fascinating. </div>
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After that we were done and hit the <a href="http://www.museumofglass.org/page.aspx?pid=391" target="_blank">gift shop</a> (EXPENSIVE). This made up for the limited exhibits. The pieces in there were Beautiful! The jellyfish and vases stood out the most to me. In the cheaper section were lady bugs, slugs, mermaids, little hearts, scrap coins, seahorses etc. (I'm doing the kids room in an underwater ocean theme, so I'm okay with this) I got the red haired mermaid for myself and a scrap piece for Logan (I was hoping they'd have a penny machine for our Penny Passport - <a href="http://www.pennycollector.com/Locations.aspx?area=87" target="_blank">not at this location</a>). I really want the other mermaids.</div>
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When we left the gift shop we'd been there maybe two to three hours so we headed over to the bridge. This was my sister's favorite part. They have art work all along one side of the bridge and farther down up above is more glass work over head which makes for stunning visuals. I had a really good time and can't wait til they change out the exhibits so we can go again. :)</div>
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<br /></div>Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0Museum of Glass, 1801 Dock St, Tacoma, WA 98402, USA47.245401 -122.433713747.2346215 -122.4534547 47.2561805 -122.4139727tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-17100816811607633862012-04-09T10:38:00.000-07:002012-04-10T15:57:46.967-07:00A PostponementIt's no surprise I'm excited about my wedding, about marrying the man of my dreams, about having a whole day with my family and friends to celebrate the relationship I will be in until the day I die. Knowing this, it saddens me to say that the wedding has been postponed.<br />
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We've been under a lot of stress and pressure trying to come up with everything we need in just a few short months so instead of stressing out and worrying about it we thought it might be best to give ourselves more time. We know that we don't need a million dollars to get married, but we're doing this once and we would like it to be a pleasurable experience.<br />
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Also noted, our lease is up at the end of July so trying to come up with money for that on top of a wedding is an accident waiting to happen. Thanks for your understanding.Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-83131538991630116882012-04-08T19:00:00.000-07:002012-04-10T15:57:02.156-07:00Happy EasterFor Easter we went to grandma and papa's house like we always do. I think it's my favorite time of year, I love the family and watching the kids all run around and play together. Grandma Kim always does something special for the grand kids, this year it was lunch pails packed with goodies. I haven't seen her pictures yet, but here are the ones I managed to get before my camera died.<br />
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Olivia got the dress from Aunty Monica for her birthday and I just Loved it on her, plus it will last for quite some time. I'm excited!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The kids with some of their cousins and papa and grandma Haynes</td></tr>
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<br />Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-90123980413788008012012-03-17T18:12:00.003-07:002012-03-17T18:12:59.659-07:00A House of SickMy sense of organization has always been off but my will to write has always been there. I have a thousand blogs in a thousand places about a thousand different things.<br />
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Tristan has declared that he'd like to start a blog with me. He wants to write about our adventures in the kitchen, our adventures with life, his programming and hobbies, my sewing and hobbies. <br />
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As of current I've been sick since Saturday night. It started out as a head cold, dizzy and nauseous. Right now I can't taste anything, just sensations, which in itself is a weird <i>sensation</i>. My sense of smell is slowly coming back at all the wrong moments. My nose is still stuffy and I'm still coughing, but I can sit here without turning in to fire.<br />
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Now my babies are sick, or rather Olivia is now sick like Logan was. I can't wait til this cold is done with it's vacation and packs it's bags. Needless to say we're done with this house guest.<br />
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We're in the process of flipping our lives around. Instead of coming home and going to sleep Tristan is staying up from his graveyard shift. I've noticed he's a lot happier. This makes me a lot happier. He's got lots of programming done, he's been taking care of us all week. He's even gone so far as to clean the kitchen, mop and bathe our pup??? Maybe he <i>is</i> still sick.<br />
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Aside from getting our house in order I wish I had that motivation. I need to sew sewww bad. Hoping to get a jump on that this week. That's my goal. I'll share the progress with hopefully something fun and interesting for the both of us.Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-69473744456196675962012-03-17T17:47:00.004-07:002012-04-10T15:58:10.647-07:00Happy St. Patrick's Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-a06HMHVAqMY/T2Uv6WIRwnI/AAAAAAAAAsI/EpQRVhKb508/s1600/IMG_2164.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-a06HMHVAqMY/T2Uv6WIRwnI/AAAAAAAAAsI/EpQRVhKb508/s320/IMG_2164.JPG" width="240" /></a><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jy-vr31M3dg/T2Uvynb4lDI/AAAAAAAAAsA/C6nfr8pGOaA/s1600/IMG_2162.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jy-vr31M3dg/T2Uvynb4lDI/AAAAAAAAAsA/C6nfr8pGOaA/s320/IMG_2162.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-62495633052740225212012-02-19T12:10:00.000-08:002012-02-19T12:10:15.054-08:00Two WordsTwo words, writer's block. I think I've stated that I'm a back up review writer for <a href="http://lilaccitymomma.com/" target="_blank">Lilac City Momma</a>. I'm trying to accomplish my mid-music class review.... *drool slowly comes down the chin* What are we talking about? No idea? Exactly! What am I to write about? I can't even form sentences or complete thoughts on this class. It's a bunch of bouncy crazy children running around the room and tearing it up as parents sing and dance, a slight twinge of community and that's about it... Yikes! The pressure. <br />
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I might be slightly more put off since this is more personal than a <a href="http://lilaccitymomma.com/2012/02/toilettree-products-fogless-mirror-review-giveaway/" target="_blank">Fogless Shower Mirror</a> that is Amazing! It might be the fact that I know they're all reading it... the mid review, with weeks left. Ay yi yi!Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-17931257025456614452012-02-16T15:13:00.000-08:002012-02-16T15:18:46.663-08:00Livi's 1st Birthday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
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<br />
My Olivia turned one. I can't believe it's been a year, almost two since I got pregnant, and almost four since I thought I was having her, since I knew in my heart and with all my soul that I wanted her.<br />
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I remember when Tristan and I had first started dating. I remember crying because I wanted an Olivia and before Logan turned three. I remember the long nights, the yearning and aching for my little girl. I remember the day we found out we weren't pregnant. The disappointment, and I remember the day we found out we were pregnant, two weeks later. Such a day of happiness and so much promise. <br />
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I remember the day we found out she was a she, I cried. I remember having her. It all seems so far away. I remember thinking of her, dreaming of her, this little brown eyed girl with dark brown hair... I remember when she came out blond hair and blue eyes. Talk about a shocker.<br />
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She's so smart, and independent. So stubborn and strong willed. She's beautiful and she thinks she's funny. She's my little personality, nothing like I'd dreamed and everything I want. I can't wait to watch her grow in to a young rebellious lady, screaming that she hates me. I can't wait for her to realize she was wrong ( ;p ) and I can't wait to watch her live out her dreams and hopefully have some children of her own some day.<br />
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My babies drive me nuts, but I love them so much and I realize how lucky I am to have them, how grateful I am.<br />
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Her birthday was a hit. I made a delicious strawberry shortcake supplied in short by Ree Drummond, recipe extraordinaire! We had it at the park so that her cousins could play, so that they all could play. She got sooo many gorgeous outfits and lovely things from people, lots of cute little books, some daddy's girl ones from daddy, and a bunny from each of her grandmother's. It was a good day, we had a good birthday, a delicious birthday. Grandma Kim made breakfast casseroles, Aunty Summer helped her eat her cake and cleaned her up. There was so much love. I'm grateful to everyone who came.Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-42028208026386218852012-02-16T14:57:00.000-08:002012-02-16T14:57:29.107-08:00I got "the ring!"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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With the girls, Colleen and Monica, I went trying on rings and fell in love with one Just like this, except princess cut. I fell in love with it at Kay's and then recently when we had the money to buy it they said they only had it in silver because it's more popular and to have it in gold I'd have to wait 2+ months. I'm sorry, been waiting long enough.<br />
<br />So, we walked down a few stores to Zales and Tada! Same ring, in gold, right there on the spot. I cried. Maybe a little bit of shock. I cried. It's a size big so when I'm ready to part with it, which will never happen, they have to resize it. (broken heart)<br />
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As you can tell this is not princess cut, but it does sparkle more, and it is gold. Tristan's band is gold and I'm sorry, but we're shooting for traditional, matchy matchy.<br />
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Also worked out some wedding details; venue, food, drinks, colors, styles etc. I'm wicked excited.<br />
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Tristan said pending on his job our wedding may be delayed. (broken heart) He had a job interview this week and a ride along next week and I'm hoping and Praying that this job works out, that he's happier, that we can move and afford a decent wedding. I just want to marry him this year. I don't want to wait. Our lives have obviously already started together (cheesy cliche) but I want our wedding. I need something positive to look forward to, to keep me busy. I want to get married, change my name, officiate the kids. I want Us to take that step towards permanence.Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-46145350527141973992012-01-14T23:25:00.000-08:002012-02-17T11:25:30.709-08:00Today is Our Valentine's DayOne night while catching myself settling for a relationship I didn't
want I stopped it. I made a decision that I wanted and deserved better. I
prayed about it, everything I wanted, needed and deserved. I also
promised to just let it go, stop looking and be happy on my own. It
didn't last very long. I found Tristan.<br />
<br />
He was
everything I didn't think I could have. He was ambitious, with dreams
and likes aside from video games and alcohol. He wasn't just trying to
get in to my pants, and he had a big heart. I knew in the beginning that
he could be the one.<br />
<br />
The day we were supposed to hang
out was a scorcher. I was terrified to go, terrified my car would break
down in the heat. A friend of mine told me that if I didn't go I might
regret it for the rest of my life and I knew in that instant she was
right. I made up my mind to go. I was terrified at first but as the
hours passed I knew in my heart I would be sad to see him go, that I
couldn't live without him and that he was the cork to fill the hole in
my heart. ( I still feel that way now )<br />
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He would be
telling me stories about his family, his nieces and nephews, his parents
and my heart would be aching and yearning for more, to not be in the
friend zone. He was a classy guy, a respectable guy. He had a dog. He
had a good family, a big family. He still has all those, in fact the
family is just getting bigger and better. His family is love, everything
I ever wanted in a family, in my family. And now we're getting married,
and if they'll truly let me in to their hearts they'll be my family
too.<br />
<br />
Not even going to lie, Tristan loves me unconditionally,
flaws and all. How the hell did I ever get so lucky? Or deserve it. I
can't believe where life has taken us so far. I can't wait to see where
it has planned for us to go. I do know that I realized last year that I
can't live another moment without him, without him knowing how much I
love him. I know I can't wait for our lives to start as a <i>married </i>couple. <br />
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We hit patches, skids of ice, but we have each other in the end. I feel better through the hard times knowing that I have him by my side and I'm eternally grateful to have his love.Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-1940641681007267712012-01-13T20:47:00.000-08:002012-02-16T18:17:32.805-08:00Our Fourth Date, Ever!Recently, my maid of honor, Colleen, offered to babysit before she went back to school. When I say offer, I mean I didn't even have to ask. This is all crazy to me. Then it got me thinking, and even crazier is that in the two and a half years that Tristan and I have been dating we've only been on three dates. Three!<br />
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The first date was... the first date. We went to dinner and a movie. I laughed my butt off, had the time of my life and knew instantly that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.<br />
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Our second date was our first Valentine's Day. I don't remember exactly what we did, but I know that Tristan and I ended up having sparkling cider on a cliff over looking the city with caramel apples.<br />
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Our third date was our two year anniversary. We went to the Jasmine and Clay Krazy. It was really fun and Tristan and I made bowls for each other. He even Almost finished mine today.<br />
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Today, we went to the Jasmine and then got really Really confused as to what to do next. We walked around the mall trying to think of possibilities but couldn't come up with any, so after an hour or two of second guessing ourselves we just decided to go to Clay Krazy. I painted Raggedy Ann and purchased Raggedy Andy so I could paint him too. I can't wait to finish, I think they're part of Olivia's gifts and I might get her a Raggedy Ann or Andy doll. Her first birthday is coming up quick!<br />
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All in all, we obviously have planning to do and have forgotten what it's like to live for us or even spend quality time with each other. This is Really depressing to me so I look forward to recognizing and making more time for each other.<br />
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Thank you Aunty Colleen!!!<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nF5BYWZhGiw/TxEJBaX2EZI/AAAAAAAAAqw/q8vBdEJmlL8/s1600/386011_2472402736463_1444232225_31936486_2066362278_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a>Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-45089288004968746492011-12-25T12:48:00.000-08:002011-12-25T12:48:25.085-08:00I'm Engaged!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I love Tristan Daniel Haynes more than anything in the world! I couldn't wait any longer so I asked him. This year has been Horrible, and I want the next year to be better, I want my next year to have him in it. I want every year to have him in it and I want to officially start our life together as soon as possible!<br />
<br />
July 29th, 2012! Our Anniversary is July 29, 2009 and I'd like to keep it on that day so we have one anniversary, and that's our day.<br />
<br />
I'll keep you posted on how things are going. But best said, "...because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with
somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible"Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-90935389431819435152011-12-04T15:30:00.001-08:002011-12-04T15:53:50.722-08:00November<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The first and foremost unforgettable thing about November, Thanksgiving. </div>
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This year we tried new recipes, and made 3 pies;</div>
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apple, praline sweet potato and pumpkin. </div>
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I hosted a Shutterfly party and made some more delicious things, like chocolate cranberry orange glaze scones and a hot buttered yum cider. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I started doing reviews for my friend, the first being organic baby food. </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She likes to bang down the door while daddy is sleeping to make sure he's still there. </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Olivia started standing on her own, and often. </td></tr>
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Logan got to try a peppermint cake pop, and mommy got new wedges. </div>
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I finished an angel representing my grandma Betty, </div>
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and sent it to my grandma Micheline to watch over her. </div>
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Uncle Josh had his 24th birthday!</div>
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We went to Sears and had Tons of pictures taken, and they actually turned out pretty good. :)</div>
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</div>Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-25498406928060673692011-11-14T23:07:00.001-08:002011-11-14T23:30:30.608-08:00Yo Gabba Gabba, Yo!<!--[if !mso]>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OuBtumgSJDM/TsIQZmoqA-I/AAAAAAAAAh0/VqWi0-b0rco/s1600/Yo+Gabba+Gabba+Concert.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OuBtumgSJDM/TsIQZmoqA-I/AAAAAAAAAh0/VqWi0-b0rco/s320/Yo+Gabba+Gabba+Concert.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"></span>I will begin with saying that I’ve maybe watched Yo Gabba
Gabba twice, ever. The idea of it, or any other tv show out there for my kids
to watch, frightens me in comparison to what we grew up with. I will also say,
to induce the hype me and my son watched a couple episodes before the big
concert. He had no real idea what a concert was, but he was excited. </div>
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Yo Gabba Gabba, at the Paramount, Live! I wasn’t sure what
to expect, this was my first kids concert. We arrived with just enough time to
spare to see that we might have to pay $20 for parking, might being we drove
around the block and found parking for $10. We were greeted by other parents
waiting in line to pay for their slot, and then all ran in a dash toting our
kids so we didn’t miss the opening. </div>
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First off, I want to say that I’ve never been to the
Paramount either. It was beautiful, classic, sophisticated. The youngster and I
went to the bathroom so we had no urgencies during the concert. Once seated we
scoped our surroundings before the lights dimmed, once again, amazing! But
let’s not talk about the Paramount. </div>
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DJ Lance Rock comes on to the big screen, wishing he could
join us… but wait! Out he pops from a little door, center stage, and the fun
begins! It’s loud, it’s exciting, and it captivates everyone from the
beginning. </div>
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Even my Olivia. She’s 9 months old. </div>
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He brings out all of his amazing friends, because they of
course want to play too! You’re asked to stand up and join in the singing and
dancing, it was quite engaging and looking around, I wasn’t the only parent
doing it, because who doesn’t love feeling like a kid again?!</div>
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Just as you’re getting in to it, they pause for
intermission. Time to take the kiddos potty, check out the souvenirs or grab a
bite to eat. They even serve adult beverages!</div>
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Logan decides he wants to be a big boy and check out his own
seat. By this time he’s having a blast and begging me to let him go up on
stage. “Can we go up there yet? Can we go up there yet? Can we go up there
yet?” </div>
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Yay!!!</div>
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By now, I’m hooked, then they go and bring out all this
dancing food singing about a party in your tummy. “There’s a party in my tummy,
there’s a party in my tummy!” The vegetables want to take part, heck, even I
want to take part. (This song has been stuck in my head since, we’ve been
having a lot of parties at home) Seeing as how I’ve never seen Yo Gabba Gabba,
I thought this was pretty dang cute, and so were a lot of the other messages
and songs. </div>
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They bring out the man with the gift of the gab and he
starts inviting all the little ones up, we thought the reality of this for Our
little one was a terrible idea, we pictured a tired 3yr old not wanting to come
down. The other kids did really great and got to help this rapper rap up a
storm. </div>
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Logan had a lot of fun riding on daddy’s shoulder’s, dancing
and singing. It was a lot of fun to them really get in to all the
entertainment. </div>
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On several fun occasions things shot out at the audience,
this time being leaves to celebrate fall!</div>
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I looked over, and the old man was even smiling. I thought
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Snow, snow was amazing. It looked like real snow, it was
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Everyone reached out to touch, almost as if they all
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More dancing, more singing, more fun. </div>
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I was surprised to feel the disappointment when they sang
their “Good Bye” song. I didn’t want it to end, we were having so much
fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be honest, with two kids and a
crazy busy family life it’s hard to get out for date night, it’s hard to expect
to have any time together as a couple. This time together was okay by me. I had
such a blast. </div>
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<span><br /></span></div>Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-49723810216474035822011-10-27T15:30:00.000-07:002011-10-27T15:30:01.245-07:00Filling in the SpacesWe've been approved and given the keys to a 600sq ft - 1 bedroom apartment for the four of us and our dog. The "kitchen" has 4 drawers that are like 7 inches wide, cupboards that are just as narrow and there are only about 6 of them. I'm thinking to myself, "We used to have 14 cupboards in a regular sized apartment Before Olivia was eating.... and we Still didn't have enough room.<br />
<br />
It's an obvious statement to say that we not only have to downsize but we really need to think about what we want in our lives and what we want to surround ourselves with. Instead of 3 casseroles, we really only need one. Instead of 23 glasses (they break), we only need 4.<br />
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The best part? NO DISHWASHER!!! ... or washer and dryer. Eeek! It will take some getting used to, there will be sacrifices, but it's ours, and it's home.<br />
<br />
The downsizing just has me thinking, we buy bigger places, we buy more stuff to fill those places. Any space we have needs to be filled with something. What happened to big open fields, necessities, country life... peace. Clutter is such a burden and one I've self indulged in. It's time to purge, it's time to rethink my life. It's time to start over.Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-77952458494389219562011-10-23T19:09:00.000-07:002011-10-23T19:09:38.159-07:00Manning UpCurrently awaiting call back from a job application, in great anticipation. My sperm donor invited me in to his home after dropping off the face of the planet for almost two years in hopes of making up for his lack of involvement. Within a month of being there things turned upside down and I've learned that once again he's using me and some things never change.<br />
<br />
I've been gone for a couple days and I'm terrified of going home, terrified of his girlfriend being there - drunk, terrified of the rage building up inside of me and what my reaction might be if I get backed in to a corner. I'm angry. I'm angry at him for being a terrible father and grandfather, for being a terrible landlord and roommate, I'm angry for the let down and thinking he'd actually sobered up, I'm angry at his stupid two face girlfriend and his preference to her over us being homeless.<br />
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I'm angry at myself for allowing my family to be in this situation. I didn't know it would've came to this. I'm glad Olivia has not been institutionalized in one of those snotty, ignored daycare centers. Right now, it's time to get a job, to make some money, to get a home for my family, some bedrooms, some stability, some safety and security.<br />
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I'm nervous about the job of course and my keeping it given my track record but it's time to man up and buckle down and with Tristan kicking my butt I can't back down now, with the kids, ever. Wish me luck on getting this job, wish me luck on keeping it, wish us luck on not sleeping in our van or being homeless at Christmas, god forbid Thanksgiving.<br />
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At least we have each other and as people continue to slip farther and farther away I realize something... this is exactly what I wanted a long time ago. The lord has Always given me everything I always wanted, better or worse. Problem is, people change, needs change. I want my family back, I want sanity, stability, a firm foundation for my kids.Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-1373583720811154242011-10-08T17:34:00.000-07:002011-10-23T19:10:38.186-07:00I Miss UsIt's no mystery that Tristan and I haven't been getting along for a while now and some people think it's funny when I try confiding in them the hurts I have about it.<br />
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October 4th he packed up everything, and made sure he had Everything. I know he's not coming back. He needs space, we need space, and to figure out who we are as individuals and what we want as individuals. "We need to figure out who we are apart, to be together...." ??? I donno.<br />
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I don't love him any less than I did the first day I saw him. I miss him so much, I'm afraid he's not coming back and I'm trying to get my ass in gear to figure out what I'm going to do with me, now.<br />
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They say the number one reason relationships fail now a days is people fall out of love, then they give up. Yes, I've fallen in and out of love with Tristan, but I know it's temporary, and I still love and appreciate him as much as the first day I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him (day one).<br />
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I do miss who we were in the beginning, I miss the visits, the excitement, him loving me back. We've had a rough couple of years with all kinds of challenges and this was the last straw. He wants to work on some things and try again later, but I know that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart. I'm afraid to lose him.<br />
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I can't stand the dog hair, him sleeping all day, the big mess from him not caring, us Never doing anything... but I love him. I love the life we created, I love/loved us. I miss us, I miss him trying, I miss me trying and being aware. <//3Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-51651745296453301822011-09-24T12:33:00.000-07:002011-09-24T12:37:34.713-07:00Na Na Na Na Life Goes OnIt seems like life is going forward for everybody but me; traveling, hiking, shopping trips, business decisions, careers... and I? I'm a mom. A mom by choice to two beautiful children but I feel stuck and I only have myself to blame. <br />
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I choose to stay at home and keep my kids out of daycare, I choose to be a crafty lady and not save up any money for any real investments. I choose to wait to go back to school.<br />
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Going back to school is freaking me out. I know nothing comes free and I know the whole point is to start my career, but once I go to school there's over $300 a month in student loans to pay back on top of looking for a job or planning my own business if that's what I decide. I don't want to work for anybody, I know things don't come handed to you, I just know what I'm passionate about. <br />
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Right now it's my kids, but I'm not even going to lie. I wish I could take random spur of the moment trips, leave the state for a week, a month and not think twice. I wish I had time to stay up late and wake up early and not have consequences as to wether or not the kids got enough sleep or if they're okay with the plans or even wether or not I can take them where I'm going, Kimber too. <br />
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While the tottering thought of having another child or not is lingering in the back of my mind I feel trapped with the ones I already have. <br />
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I can't say I don't enjoy spending every waking moment with them, that they don't make me laugh and nothing can replace the happiness they bring me, I can't say that I don't love their hugs and kisses or "I love you's" more than life itself, because I do, they're my world. ( Even as the little one is copying my keys strokes at the threat of destroying this whole post ) I love them more than life itself. I just wish we could do more, I wish could Be more, for myself, for them, for Tristan. <br />
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The only thing I desire to do is to learn to sew better, to mix and match coordinating fabrics, to learn to make a soufle, to become a "master chef", ( yes, even with my picky palet), to travel to exotic places - in the contiguous United States and maybe Maybe one day be not so afraid to fly to France ( and live to tell the tale ).<br />
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I envy people doing what they want, when they want, where they want, as long or late as they want. At this point, I just want my home back, my kitchen. I want to make breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert for my family, I want to cuddle up and watch a comedy, I want to light a fire, plant a garden, I want bike rides, bowling leagues, soccer teams and scrapbooking clubs.<br />
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*sigh* I want my life to go on (na na na) Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-48030591677574166262011-09-16T10:34:00.000-07:002011-09-18T18:32:14.824-07:00Me and the woman who birthed meI don't feel that Facebook is the appropriate place to blog. Somehow I justify strangers potentially reading my soul as a little more tolerant.
<p>
I just got off the phone with my mom. I had to take the battery out as the hang up button disappeared completely. I can tolerate her, be nice to her, until she starts ranting and raving about being a great mother, about all these great memories I don't have, about her being home and there for me. *cough cough BULL SHIT cough cough*
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I went days without food, I sometimes had lunch money and other days would eat friends scraps. She made it a point to be there more for my friends who she thought didn't have parents than she was for me. I remember missing school to be home with my sister, I remember not being sober because of her. I remember her having no clue as to how I felt or who I was. I remember her hurting me on a daily basis and journals chopped full of reasons I hated her. I don't remember this sunshine and rainbow she talks about.
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I asked to borrow her sewing machine, mine is currently inoperable and taking my sanity with it. She said no, simply because its hers. Had I been my brothers girlfriend or my own friend, "poor thing". She said I can't use it because... its hers. That's it. And all I asked for was a week. A week of sanity and a moment apart from tears. She said to pay to fix mine, $180. She said we should have the money because we make more than her. We have two kids and debt. She went on and on with excuses, telling me to tell everyone else to take care of it like they were indebted to me in her mind.
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I try and try and try to have a relationship with this woman who gave birth to me but for the love of God I don't think its possible. I hold her accountable to too much and all I want her to do is acknowledge it. Its not going to happen.
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I'm tired of feeling so invisible to everyone.Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-64217050184139436392011-09-14T21:18:00.000-07:002011-09-14T21:19:01.087-07:00The Great Debate on LoveWhile watching House last night two men found themselves in discussion. One man had been on three dates with his wife, the other married for 10yrs. While these examples are terrible their words effected me.<br /><br />The longer married man said he loved his wife as much as he did the first day he met her, the other said, "Shouldn't you love her more as time goes by?"<br /><br />I don't know about you but the greatest part of a relationship is the beginning; the butterflies, the excitement, realizing that you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. <br /><br />I think it takes a lot more work to feel that way as the relationship goes on and that it's something to be cherished if it can be held on to. Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6197754018956088501.post-73387793119930071142011-08-28T13:49:00.000-07:002011-08-28T14:09:55.733-07:00Deadlines and UpdatesOctober 1st. That's our goal, our personal deadline, our take no prisoners mark. All I want is to go to Westport for my birthday, to paint some decorations for the big move and to finish my sewing projects.
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<br />Garage sale coming before the end of September, I think that's a must. There will be a beautiful aray of stuff there in a hasteful need to rid clutter and turn a buck.
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<br />About $150 to change my name and about a thousand after filing, fees and background checks for adoption. *big sigh* I don't want income tax spent before we get it. :/
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<br />My grandma Micheline called for Logan's birthday, her goal is to move back to the United States... and she laughed, she was happy. It was nice talking to her, I miss her so much.
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<br />Logan's birthday was a stressful accomplished hit with pictures to come. I'm proud of myself <3
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<br />Quilt is almost done, sewing machine died, pictures on that to come too...Amanda Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13589007994933386415noreply@blogger.com0