Traditions and Stability

Some things you just get used to, and they bring you comfort because you know you can rely on them, and they'll never change. Today while I sit with Logan listening to Christmas music and preparing lunch I'm reminded of the little things that are important to me.

Coke and Grilled Cheese; Coke in general reminds me of my grandparents. It brings me comfort. Ever since I can remember my grandpa would grab a Coke and split it with me in these little plastic Dixie cups they had. I love it. I also got accustomed to Coke with my grilled cheese sandwiches, not only from when I lived there but from when I visited and now the two go hand in hand.

Strawberry Milk and Donuts; As I have said, my dad used to pick me up and take me to school or work with him, wherever it was, and we would always stop at 7-11 for strawberry milk and donuts. Back then the milk came in cardboard containers, and I used to see my dad more. Granted I don't see him that much and we don't really ever spend time together, drinking strawberry milk takes me back and brings me that feeling I need.



Earl Grey Tea; Attached to Earl Grey Tea is memories of my old best friend and our love affair with Davey Havok. I know these aren't traditions, but these are things that hold true always. No matter where I am at or who I am with, if Earl Grey touches my nose or my lips my life is hers.

Joe Diffie's Mr. Christmas Album; played every year all December long ever since 1995. It lets me know the season is here, it reminds me of my childhood and it's the only Christmas music I've ever always loved. I love Joe Diffie and I hope that Logan will come to like this cd or at least appreciate it some day, Olivia too. I will however say that 95.7's Christmas music is beautiful and Logan and I are getting a kick out of listening to it as often as possible.



Christmas Pictures; I couldn't get Logan to Santa his first year, but I could get us to Sears. It not only captured our first Christmas but a moment in our lives and it holds memories for me. We managed to get Christmas pictures last year with Tristan and are soon due for them this year too. No matter how much wall space they will some day take up, or how much clutter they may bring, I would Love to continue getting Christmas pictures together with Logan and some day Olivia until we're old and gray. While they're under my roof, this I can at least count on.



Thankful Turkey's; started with Tristan last year, where I have said, we take our hands [or paws] and trace them, coloring them in to turkeys only to surround them with the things we're thankful for. I think this is a good practice and habit as well as something to reflect upon. No matter where I'm at or how chaotic it is, this is something to take time for.



Cards and Snail Mail; this has been something I've been more in to since having Logan, a way to keep in touch when the world is passing me by. I don't know who actually appreciates them or finds them a nuisance, but other than this Thanksgiving I have sent holiday cards out every presentable holiday since Logan was born. The best part is him coloring and personalizing them. I also include up to date pictures of us, or mainly Logan, when the opportunity presents itself, like Halloween and Christmas. Snail mail is important, and good practice, a lost art. I haven't received a card in a while other than my crabby grandmother in France, but I will say that when I do it stops the world. Getting a personalized card in the mail to me is the greatest feeling in the world and one I hope to pass on as well as share with my children not to take for granted in this world of technology.

Sewing and Hobbies; Now that Tristan and I have our own home, and more so since I've had Logan I'd like to have things that I can pull out every year, that bring comfort. I've started place mats this year, I have certain ornaments adorning the Christmas tree, our family pictures. I'd like to eventually have done Holiday Quilts for the whole family. Nothing fancy, just something to hold on to as time goes by. We've yet to get a Christmas Tree Angel, but my grandma's angel I've been able to recognize and remember since I was 4 or 5 yrs old, as well as their habitual Snoopy trees. Seeing these things every year brings me comfort and lets me know the world is okay, a steady in my life.



Also, just making the kids quilts to grow with.




The Pumpkin Patch; Generally something I would like to do every year, participate in the activities and pick our own pumpkins, get out of the house. We did it last year, twice, and this year Tristan had to work a chaotic schedule, but I plan on going every year from now on until the kids are ready to say, "no mom" which I know they'll have no problem doing. :)



Family Holiday's; Ever since I can remember I have been going with my brother to his family's for Christmas Eve and my grandparents on Christmas Day. My mom decided last year her Christmas will be the 22nd, and Tristan's family is included in the mix now on Christmas Day. Last year was hectic but it was amazing. This year we won't be traveling due to Tristan having to work Christmas Eve and Day but I'm hoping to get to the ocean and Centralia at the very least and hopefully next year we can travel together. Family is important as are traditions, though I will say I hate after 20yrs people want to change dates and times for whatever reasons when everyone else plans around what always was. It's just important to see family and I don't always get to do that except the Winter Holiday's, I'm grateful for them.

Thanksgiving

I'm a bit delayed. I know this. However, this year has been chaotic so I'm excusing myself. This year Tristan and I were not able to travel for Thanksgiving like we did last year. It started out as a financial thing, then Tristan's dad offered to pay our gas. It then turned in to a "Tristan has been working his butt off and just doesn't want to travel" thing. Especially considering that he had to work the next day at 2pm, the snow and icy road conditions, his need to get rest and the fact we already planned on having Thanksgiving at home and had already bought a turkey and planned a meal. I will say it was rather depressing to have missed out on the whole "big family Thanksgiving", especially since Tristan has to work Christmas Eve and Day as it stands.

We had a lot to do, and Tristan wanted everything like his grandma makes it. Our menu consisted of; the obvious turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, homemade rolls, homemade stuffing - a first for both of us, green beans with bacon, a homemade pumpkin pie and cheesecake because Tristan doesn't like pumpkin and I made him an apple pie last week.

My dad was supposed to go the ocean but hadn't decided on the full commitment so I invited him over. It would've been our first Thanksgiving together probably ever. He said that was a great idea, then later called to say he was going to the ocean, then later called to say that he didn't want to deal with traffic and that it was getting too late and "they" would be over. They consisting of my little brother and my dad's roommate. I will say, I was nervous at first.

Logan of course got a bag full of m&m's from my dad first thing upon arrival, which he gave him to eat without my permission, leading him to Not eat any of his dinner. Epic fail.

All in all, dinner was Delicious. We managed to dirty every single pot, pan, casserole dish, and of course dish... that we owned. It was a blast. I will say we got ourselves a roasting pan out of the deal that we can now use for our ham on Christmas.

I had a wonderful time with Tristan preparing our meal and it was nice having my dad and little brother here. Oh, and Tristan got me some non alcoholic beer for the occasion. ♥ Not the highlight, but definitely a plus.

In fact, the highlight of my Thanksgiving this year and probably all of them for the rest of my children's days was probably our Thankful Turkey's we started last year. We trace our hands and color them in to turkeys and surround them with things we're thankful for.

Pregnancy Blues

I don't know if it's me being pregnant. If it's Christmas coming up, if it's going through old pictures or just the weather. I'm feeling depressed.

Before Tristan and I got together I used to do so much with Logan, I used to take so many pictures too. Even after we got together we took a ton of pictures and managed to do Something now and again.

I know, we have our own place now, and bills, and I'm not working. But I don't even take pictures anymore. It doesn't help that my camera is shot, or that my phone is now broken. It doesn't help that I don't see the point in getting dressed let alone dressed up or that even when I do it doesn't matter. It doesn't help that when I'm awake Tristan's asleep and vice versa.

It doesn't help that I feel like just a baby carrier right now, completely lacking intimacy. I don't care about hours and schedules. Tristan slept through half the beginning of our relationship and we managed more than we do now.

I miss not living with each other. I miss Both of us getting excited to see each other. I miss being invited to dinner at his sister's house or his parent's. I miss traveling and taking pictures. I miss kissing and cuddling and even good byes. I miss not taking each other for granted or feeling so alone. I miss the effort.

I feel like no matter how I do my hair, or if I brush my teeth or shave my legs... I'm just me and nothing more. I feel like crap half the time not having anything "pretty or sexy" to wear, or even having any money to get the things that I need. I miss having more than two pairs of pants and shirts that covered my belly that didn't make me look like a camper.

I miss being pregnant with Logan and actually buying stuff every chance I had. I hate not knowing when or if we're going to get everything we need. I hate not feeling in control or even in the know. I think it's stressing me out.

I'm rather irritated at the fall through with Target and more so the lack of interviews since. I could kick myself in the behind. I feel useless and helpless.

Donut Face

My dad used to take me and get donuts and strawberry milk
Logan and I have started donuts and OJ

Snow Storm!

It started snowing yesterday. Today it snowed quite a bit more. Tristan was supposed to work 6am-2pm which I would've preferred in these conditions. He just left for work for his 10pm-6am shift. That's when it's going to be the coldest and iciest. :(

I called my dad who not only lives down the road but has a road service business, which means he's been driving in it all day. He said he's using chains and it's terrible on the back roads and extremely icy. Tristan doesn't have chains. He has the Durango, and now it's dark outside. He refused to take a blanket, I hope he won't need it.

It's not that I don't trust his driving abilities, he's driven in it before and he's better off than I would be. It's the other idiots that also have places to go in ill equipped cars that could be sliding around and what not, and perhaps even in to him. It's also specifically the roads he has to take to get to work. Not looking forward to hearing those tales.

In the mean time, I have the electric blanket cranked up in case the power goes out. Or for when I'm ready to crawl in to bed, where yes I will turn it off. I'm enjoying a non alcoholic beer and cutting fabric for my Thanksgiving place mats, yes to use in just a few days. I should be great unless the power goes out, I have all the material cut out except four strips which I'm doing now and will take no time.

They're the Charlie Brown one's that Tristan picked out. I will definitely post pics when they're done. They're my second attempt at place mats and should be a bit more beautiful giving me even more hope in the Christmas ones. :D Good practice I tell you!

To you I say, drive safe, keep safe and be safe. Enjoy the weather and may the wind not knock out your power, and if it should, may you have a fire place... and wood.