Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Home is wherever im with you

This year has been more than crazy. My baby girl was born, my grandmother whom I was more than close with has passed and in doing so took all the ties to my family, we lost a niece in a way too short lived life, and a water leak led to mushrooms and a health scare which has landed us homeless. What we thought would be two weeks has turned in to 3+ months and I'm not even sure how it happened. On top of it I have sperm donors knocking down the doors and still a rocky relationship with the biologicals as well as an idiot brother, bless his soul <3.

I don't feel like I've got to enjoy my kids, or my spouse since all this went down. I felt like my after baby energy had just restored itself, its since been replaced with depression. I know its a depression only time will heal. I know we'll be taken care of, that we've been being taken care of, I know God provides all and with patience a good ending is always inevitable, or a good middle. I also know we need to take charge of our own lives and buckle down. We're a work in progress.

I love the ceramics store, very theraputic. Hoarders has me a little worried. I need to jump on the band wagon and get more done. Then I wouldn't feel so cluttered, collective or wasteful... work in progress remember.

I feel like I'm too judgemental on my family and at the same time, what am I getting? My counselor said to toss and I think I'm ready too, not like much will change.

Much needs to change. Today I'm starting, wish us luck. <3

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