Thursday, December 30, 2010

Christmas Cookies

I threw a Christmas Baking Party which turned in to me making fifty thousand batches of cookies for my friends and Logan to decorate and take home, which I was fine with. I had a really good time as well as good food.

For the party I made gingerbread men, peppermint candy canes, butterscotch stained glass stars and citrus snowflake cookies. I made a white chicken chili for us to eat and balance out the sweets as well as tried this new frosting with meringue powder. It was interesting. I really wanted to turn out these peppermint cups which I actually think I might make some time this week.

Logan had a blast and took his decorating Very seriously. I was impressed to watch him.

This is me, Logan, Aunty Colleen and Aunty Monica. I didn't get a picture of Aunty Monica's cookies but both her and Aunty Colleen did a Great job decorating the cookies and they were all quite beautiful.

In the end I made gingerbread men, stained glass stars, citrus cookies, peppermint candy canes and Christmas trees in white chocolate. They were delicious.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Christmas Tradition

Kmart is having a Christmas Tradition contest, this was my entry and I thought I'd share.

This is my sons 2nd participating Christmas. He's 2 1/2. Since he's been old enough to sit up I have him help me make holiday cards and Christmas is no exception.

Not only does he get to color Christmas cards but a tradition we've started is him making something for everyone. I want him to know how important it is to not only get but to give.

Last year he made Rudolph fridge magnets and painted Christmas bulbs. This year along with his cards he gets to decorate wooden ornaments. He's had quite a blast personalizing each and every one and choosing who gets what.

I think it's important to take time to think of others and give back, even if it is only just a little something. People aren't personal anymore.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Baby Blues???

Feeling rather stressed out lately, depressed. Too many thoughts on my mind. Too much going on. Too much to do, too much not to do.

My grandparents aren't doing so well. A week or two ago I was talking to my grandma. She's a bit worried about my grandpa. He had a stroke the day before Mother's Day. I was there. He refused the 9-1-1 call, the ambulance, the pleas and cries. He refused to live. Thing is, you don't always die of a stroke. It can paralyze you, leave you brain dead. In his case, his brilliant mind is sometimes stunted and he can't always get the words out. Even just sometimes, but it embarrasses him and he walks away.

He has apparently had two since, or heart attacks? I'm not sure. I didn't get this out like I'd wanted from her. I do know that he was due for an MRI because of it and that the doctors were baffled because they couldn't Do the MRI. His heart was working too hard and too irregular to analyze, or whatever it is that they do. This next week he will probably need heart surgery. I'm not sure what they're going to do. The only thing my grandma is semi certain they will do is to shock is heart and try and get it to beat regularly. She's scared. I'm scared. I love him too much, I need him too much.

My grandma has problems of her own, the most recent not appropriate to post. Just a near hospital visit that probably would've made her sicker or kept her in there past her expiration date.

I've been feeling tired lately, which doesn't help with this depression. We recently made a trip to Centralia. Before we left I virtually had everything clean to where we come home and I vacuum. Well, that and having to wash Every single thing we took because the smoke. x_X

We got there late Wednesday, stayed up til midnight, woke up at 8am, had a little nap, got home around 11pm, went to bed later, woke up at noon, went to bed last night around 11 or midnight and woke up at like 10am this morning. My schedule is off. I'm exhausted. Logan is having little bouts of fits, which is fine I'm just too tired to deal with them. Tristan has gotten Way more sleep than I these last couple days. It's draining me.

I'm sooo glad I got to see my grandparents, regardless of it throwing off our schedule. Next time I'll just make sure we leave at a more reasonable hour. I got some pictures, I got some bonding done. I feel like an idiot that I didn't talk more. I made some chocolate and peanut butter fudge, Tristan made dinner. I wanted to help more than I did. I wanted to stay longer than I did. When I went to leave I felt like my heart was ripping out of my chest and that this really was "good bye". It's terrible. I should have more faith than that. They can't leave before meeting Olivia, can they???

I spent all yesterday cleaning and catching up on laundry, washing my Christmas dishes, fixing our bed to where it's more sleepable. I was ready to wake up and make cookies. Aside from not sleeping last night, the power went out. When I woke up at 10am ready to wake up Tristan just wanted to sleep more. Waiting for the power to come back on was a waste because he still had to go to the store. I didn't know we didn't have eggs. I was going to start cookies.

When he got back he programmed and I made him breakfast then he left for work. :( I really wanted him to help with Logan so I didn't have to watch him while doing everything I have to do. I made the first batch of cookies and when I went to roll it out it wasn't usable because it was too soft. Took me long enough with Logan screaming for me every five minutes and throwing fits. I just want to cry.

I'm not stressed out about cookies. I'm stressed out about not getting them done, of trying to make cookies, breakfast, lunch and dinner, watch Logan and entertain him and clean the house and dishes as I go while making sure I'm not avoiding anyone.

I can't even begin to describe how I feel right now other than completely alone, invisible. Logan is down for a nap. He threw his cup on the floor, he did this for the first time at my grandma's and broke her glass and splattered milk every where. I should take a nap too. In fact, I'm going to. Maybe when I wake up I will have a refreshed energy and some better luck at tackling my tasks???

I'm excited about the things I'm making. I'll post pictures for who ever reads this when I'm done.

Oh, and I finally got some things at Joann's for Christmas for every body. Logan finished them last night quite happily. We just have cards to finish and labels for the tins. :) This makes me happy.

The worst part is, watching Logan color last night and feeling so happy at us just sitting there together, I felt like I didn't deserve it and that something must be wrong and the world was going to end. I kid you not. This has happened since he's been born. He makes me so happy and when we're having so much fun I feel like this means I'm going to die soon. :( I don't like it, I don't know how to get rid of it. I wish I could go back to counseling. I'm a mess.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

We're Having a Baby!!!

For most of you this comes as no surprise. Like I've said before, Tristan and I have had our forgetful moments.

Recently the Braxton Hicks have been so prevalent that I almost forgot what it was like to feel Olivia on regular intervals. In some instances, I feel like I've gotten used to this weight and thus have adapted to it and don't feel pregnant at all, but rather round. Only when she tosses and turns do I realize once again that there is a little girl growing inside of me.

Tristan recently moved our shelf off the wall on my side of the bed. This is where Olivia's bassinet is going to go and it's safest this way. The room feels quite empty though without the actual bassinet. We have quite a bit to do, which Could be stressful except in knowing that what we have to do won't take much time, it's just a matter of doing it.

Last night was no exception to the recent flurry of acid reflux. I had no hopes of sleeping, or getting comfortable. [I've begun a new affair with Calcium Magnesium & Fish Oils - it's better than sleep meds] I propped myself on five or six pillows and laid on my back holding my tummy feeling Olivia when I could. As I did this I imagined her, then for some stupid reason I imagined how much time I had left to meet her.

Five and a half weeks to eight and a half weeks. A little over a month? Really? I started to panic. I couldn't breath. Labor. I'm going to have to deliver a baby in a little over a month. Am I ready for this? Was I ready the first time? Well, I was only ready because I didn't know what to expect. This time I'm scared. More so than with Logan.

I'm freaking out about where we're going to deliver. I'm freaking out about who's going to be there, about how it's going to happen. I just want it to be over with. I'm terrified and I want to know everything is going to be alright, I want to see her in my arms.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Forever and Ever... and Ever and Ever

This last week Logan was being quite the toad, and a messy one at that.

The only thing I could think to say to him as I started cleaning him up was, "Logan, I love you."

He looks back at me, "Forever and ever, mom?"

"Yes, Logan, forever and ever."

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

I'm finding myself quite frustrated lately. This frustration varies in degrees and in various things, consisting of but not limited to; my family, my mother in particular, my mother in law for various reasons or misunderstandings or whatever, my house, my procrastination, this season, the past, the present and the future, my belly and discomforts and more so.... the mister.

It's normal to have separate hobbies, interests, goals etc. It's "normal" for guys not to be interested in girly things. It's normal to be different. But is it so normal to not only be from Mars and Venus, but to stay there?

How is it that I'm supposed to understand programming, zombies, end of the world stories, fish tanks and all their drama, the ins and outs of labs, graphic foreign films, terrible action adventures and countless other things... but the moment I go to share I get a grunt, an "it's not my thing" or just am completely ignored or given some excuse... "I have the rabies... get back."

It's hard not to compare past relationships in trying to find logic in this. It's hard not to think of tons of movies where the men may not understand but they try to be supportive and pretend to be interested or care enough to Take interest.

Never have I been in such a stationary relationship. Yes, I was younger. Yes, I didn't have kids. But my sense of adventure has not gone out the window. Where did the rest of the world go?

I feel completely hurt now, and disappointed. I didn't see myself like this. I don't want to consider myself trapped. I know I am my own person and I can still do the things I did before... alone. But isn't that the whole point of being in a relationship? To Not be alone?

I wake up alone, I eat alone, I go to bed alone. Aside from Logan, I am always alone. I've said before, I don't mind doing all the cooking, cleaning and maintenance of the house. The part that bothers me is the part that I can't get help sometimes with out gripe. It's not even that I Want the help, it's that I want to know that someone is Willing to help and not just dismiss everything because they think they're better than it.

I'm frustrated because I feel taken for granted. I'm seven months pregnant now. I don't feel pregnant. I don't want to be babied but I hate to say it, when I lived with my mom, she did more for me in understanding. Ya she is a woman, but a cold hearted one, comparable to man. She Offered to rub my feet because they were hurting or swollen, she offered to help out any way she could because she knew I shouldn't be lifting or doing some of the things that I was doing or needing to do. Now? If I'm crying because my back hurts, or literally can't walk because my feet hurt, or need something moved that I clearly should not move... I have to deal with it, double up on aspirin, throw out my back and dislocate myself.

I'm not asking to be treated like a princess or a gimp. I'm asking to be acknowledged. I feel like nothing has changed, my body is not creating life or going through terrible discomfort or changes, I'm just getting fat because. We're down to the wire, we missed the birthing classes. In its place we were given books on labor and delivery. His reading streak consisting of something like 10+ books has now came to an end and he can no longer read... I feel like I'm in this alone.

I don't expect an inhabitant from Mars to sit down and sew with me or discuss the best pattern for cross stitch but where's the time together? It Used to be in the kitchen. Holiday cards, that's my thing, has been since Logan's been born. But when I have like 20 cards to make and get out and they involve more than my family Some kind of help would be appreciated. And if I go through the trouble to make them I would hope they all get sent. I can't even get a group effort on this one, just to spend time together. Cookies? Nope.

Tonight I tried getting help in the kitchen to make cookies. I thought it would be fun, that we could take and eat deliciousness. I got griping, constant griping the entire freaking time, from the moment I asked to the moment we actually made them. I ended up finishing them while someone else went back to his own hobby. So much for quality time. Apparently that can only be spent in front of the television. Wonderful.

I'm tired of feeling alone, of feeling isolated. I'm tired of hearing that he shouldn't have to do anything or participate in home activities. I'm tired of hearing how boring his job is, or how much he gets done, like reading and drawing and now, programming. Wow, so glad you have all this personal time... and then tell me you need personal time at home. I'm glad that I don't work ... my job is 24-7, no breaks, no personal time, no vacations or leave. But yes, you go right ahead and stay in bed and ignore the world around you. I'm Tired of it.

I'm tired of being behind and not getting anything done or taken care of because I'm waiting for we'll do it laters. I'm tired of putting my life on hold and waiting for something to happen that never does. I'm so tired of waiting. I am miserable and depressed. This is not a pregnancy hormone. I've been feeling this way a long time, hoping that it would change. Hoping Something would be realized, that I would be respected or acknowledged.

I don't even know what to get excited about anymore? Why should I? Especially if I'm the only one putting in effort. Our anniversary? My birthday? I know, this has passed, but hey, why should things change? Should I go through the effort of getting excited for Christmas and making a big deal out of it only to hear on the day that there was no time to do anything or someone was busy? Should I set myself up for disappointment or just give up now? Should I keep trying, holding out for something that clearly will never change. It's not the gift I'm seeking, but the thought. At this point, I can Honestly say I don't want anything. All I wanted for my birthday or our anniversary, literally, was a homemade card and a boxed cake. Effort?

My initial draw to my source was ambition, motivation. Since our colliding it's all gone out the window. My past relationships involved travels and adventure, even in a lack of cash. Money helps, but it's just an excuse. I'm not asking for a trip to Vegas or Hollywood. I can't even get a walk down the road. I can't get him to leave the house. It's like he's died inside and I feel responsible.

Our relationship went south New Years of last and picked up a little when I moved in with my dad. Down hill again when we moved here and now it's just up and down, unpredictable and lacking any enthusiasm, passion or motivation. I say these things because they bother me. I say these things because I miss the man I fell in love with, or maybe I was blinded by mere childhood fairy tales. Is it too late to get these things back? Will a child just crush the pieces of the puzzle making them irrevocably fixable?

I feel alone now, I'm going to feel So much more alone and depressed when she's here. I don't want to feel like that, like this, isolated.

Yesterday I found myself completely in tears, strung out with thoughts. Instead of asking what's wrong, I get a, "Are you really going to act like this?" Upon bringing that point up much later... I still haven't been asked what was wrong. I spent all yesterday in tears and he doesn't even know why, doesn't care why. The reason? Could be life altering, earth shattering. But ya know, I'm just a pregnant bitch with an attitude.

How are men and women so different that they don't even feel the same things? Value the same things? How do people connect anymore? How do I find my happiness? If I'm going to feel alone would it be easier to Be alone?

*disclaimer: I'm not saying my mister does nothing for me. I'm grateful to be at home, I'm grateful for the roof over my head and my occasional surprise meal... I'm complaining about the connection that some how got... disconnected. I want to feel something more

Logan of the Week

[just because it's the funniest]

Tristan had a subscription to Maxim and apparently hasn't let them go. One particular issue has Lindsey Lohan in a swimsuit on the front cover, as well as a little magazine with it or from somewhere else with college hotties in swimsuits.

Logan first started out like this... "Mom, really want this one." Of course, pointing to Lindsey Lohan. This is definitely not a Walmart catalog.

Then, I found him looking at the college hotties in swimsuits. One in particular was holding something in the place of her exaggerated breasts. With his tiny little finger pointed right at the targets... "Mom, Really want this one."

Last but not least, the one that got these magazines taken away and hidden til he's moved out... a college hottie on the front of a ship, in her swimsuit, very provocative with her legs spread. This one took the shame. He couldn't even use his little pointer finger. Instead, he used mine. Pointing to the place you're imagining... "Mom, really want this one."

When asked if they were his girlfriends, Tristan got smacked and told to, "Stop it dad." He was embarrassed. Heck, I'm embarrassed, and quite glad he's only two and that these images won't stick... and that Tristan owns this trash, but it's a guy thing, and I own things too. ♥

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Olivia Adalene

Today I was putting away Logan's laundry and cleaning his bed. He had an accident last night. I'm finding that he now only seems to have accidents when I bathe him before bed. I think we're done with that, but I can tell you, he wets the bed a Lot less than I did in the 4th grade. Ya, I was a bed wetter. Anyways, Olivia owns half the room and Logan was putting his hands through the bars in her crib to rub the silkies of her blanket.

Me, being me, lifted him up in to her crib. It's his sister, I want them to be comfortable, I want him to be used to her and not think of her as an invading alien. He was quite pleased. He grabbed her seahorse and laid down. Then, he played with all her stuffed animals and asked for his seahorse, and his dragon. [she has one too] and then proceeded to have the animals talk to each other. Quite cute.

Pretty soon there's going to be a live baby in there, a real little girl, all hairy and pink. Pretty soon our lives are going to turn upside down overwhelmed with more love than we already have and definitely more laughs.

This morning we were all laying in the front room cuddling, watching cartoons and Logan was sitting between Tristan and I. I said I couldn't wait for Olivia to be here, to be sitting here laughing and playing. He hadn't realized until now that we're not only having a baby, but a child. But I'm the one with issues since I forgot that I get to Deliver a baby. :p Ya, we're clearly ready for this. Bahahaha.

I can't wait to hold her, to cuddle with her. To have her sit between us all and laugh and smile, to see her and Logan being weirdos and us not understanding a thing they're doing in their own universal language. He's such a sweet heart I don't see how they can't get along.

It's definitely going to be a whole new adventure compared to the one I had with Logan, and I'm ready for it. I know I'll be tired at first, and in pain with breastfeeding and all. I know I'll hate my body, do hate my body. But I also know that the pain will fade, the weight will drop and the energy will return and all this will all be a memory as I'm begging for it all back because truly, it all happens so fast.

I swear just yesterday Logan was cuddled up on the couch with me, passed out on my chest, or learning to eat food food, or learning to stand. Just yesterday he was my little baby.

Pink. I can't wait for a world of pink and girly things, frilly skirts and hair bows, princess' and dolls. I can't wait to see them playing together, to hear her voice.

The way Logan was or is with her seahorse, completely needy and cuddly with it, giving it kisses, makes me smile. He had that thing Everywhere with him when he was younger, til the battery case rotted and I had to pull it out. And I didn't realized he missed it so. He actually started playing with it a lot more Before we got hers. I'd really like to buy another one for him. I think I'm going to have to, especially so he doesn't steal hers when it's down and out of its current resting spot.

A boy and his seahorse

Friday, December 3, 2010

Ma Famille

I swear, the more I try and be there and pretend things are okay for the sake of having a relationship the more they resist. I quit.

I would Love my sister to come over and hang out, veg, watch movies, make a mess and do some crafts with. She won't respond to me what so ever when it involves me inviting her over.

My brother now lives down the street from me, is going through a lot with a lot of crappy people. Technically, we're the only people with some sort of structure going on, trying to get our lives together. As of right now, no drugs, no alcohol, no drama. Invite him over for dinner, for games, for anything. I get really rude remarks back, a wall. He feels the need to act all tough like he doesn't need anybody. Psh, we were all we had for years. He's my brother and some day I hope he'll see I'm here.

Called my mother today for the first time in a couple days, just to say hi. I'm sure I had something to say but she always cuts me off and bitches and complains about something to where I'm just listening and can't think for two seconds. "She's in pain" which means she can talk for hours but has to go the second I say something because she just can't deal. She informed me she got us some Christmas presents and apparently me talking was yelling in her ear, and me talking to Logan was yelling in her ear, and Logan talking was yelling in her ear. I told her fifty times, I was not yelling. "Her ears were sensitive". She got all huffy puffy and irritated with me and asked what I wanted. I was like whatever, I just called to say hi but screw this, and hung up... completely alone, isolated.

My grandma. The only one I really have that I can talk to anymore, she's sick again. I called her yesterday and she's having some serious problems breathing and suspended herself to the couch. Today I learned that she also hurt her side carrying her purse, she usually carries it with her hands. She's as bad as me, what am I going to do with her? She's on oxygen, resisting to rest, and go to the hospital. I get it, every time she goes there its for way longer than she should be and she contracts something that we've never heard of before. I just want her to be okay. I hate when she can barely talk and gets short of breath. I hate wondering if she'll answer tomorrow, and I do.

I called my mom to tell her of this, that's right. But alas, I didn't get two seconds in. She was too focused on herself. I pray for the love of God that I am not like this. I know I like to talk, it's true. I just hope that I listen too. I hope that I'm a good friend, a good ear, a good something.

I called my dad too, I forgot my phone doesn't work and I haven't heard from him in a while. He told me to come over and I said Tristan had the van. It really irritates me when Every body gets irritated that Tristan has the van. a] Tristan is working and taking care of things b] it gets better gas mileage right now c] if I need it, he will leave it d] what's your situation again?

On a self note, I'm feeling rather depressed. Self inflicted. I feel like a bitch. I feel like people are not happy with me, that I'm a terrible friend, daughter, grand daughter, sister, girlfriend... I feel like too much. As isolated as I feel I feel like a younger version of my mother. I don't want people to hate me, to avoid me. I want to be a good friend, a great friend. I want to be a good daughter and the grand daughter my grandparents deserve. I want to be a sister my siblings can rely on, want to see. I want to be the girlfriend that has her shit together, that you can rely on, that makes you happy, the helps you out instead of stresses you out.

I feel so helpless right now. I want to cry, but now that I've vented I think I'm going to block it out, indulge in the last three cookies and finish What About the Morgans?

Have a good night

Logan of the Day

Logan is currently taking his medical tweezers and picking up sewing thread and other particles that will not vacuum up on our little rug. It's quite hilarious. I even gave him a little cup to collect his specimens in.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Family Get Togethers and the Stomach Flu

This last weekend we went to Auburn for Julia's Blessing. We stayed Saturday night and came home Sunday, with little sleep. It was so much fun though, 10 grandkids, 7 my age adults, 2 parents and 2 grandparents. Whooo! Lots of noise, lots of bonding.

I was hesitant at first because Tristan was experiencing cold chills and sweats and I was thinking of all we could be contaminating. He decided he was fine enough for the trip though and we ended up going, only to find that everyone there was coughing or sick in some way, and later learned we were exposed to the stomach flu. Go figure?

It was really good getting together like that, especially after missing Thanksgiving with everyone, and going to miss Christmas. I'm glad Tristan got to spend time with his Whole family, just sucked he had to work quite a bit out of that time.

Logan had a blast too playing with Abby and Carter. Watching him laugh hysterically at the little things they were doing or having their conversations without words made me all that more excited for Olivia. I also realized an over stuffed table and meal prayer had been something I had been missing, as well as Kim's delicious cooking.

I managed to get a Christmas dress, I look like a hippo, and some stockings and earrings. Tristan, a matching shirt for some hopefully soon holiday pictures. Oh, this time it approaches fastly. I feel so behind and this sickness isn't helping.

We came home Sunday night and I threw my back out. Epic fail, fourth time this year. I was in tears. I am sooo completely frustrated. I called Ann and she said a hot bath, extra calcium magnesium and extra fish oils, yum! It worked.

I will however say, that while in my bath I thought it might help if Logan colored on the floor so I knew where he was and that he was okay. My little mermaid was feeling dehydrated and couldn't keep his hands out of my bath, which then led to him dumping cups of water on me and soaking wet clothes. Which led of course to him trying to take his clothes of or just jump in head first. So much for a relaxing bath. My tub was then filled with Kimber hair and Logan crusties. Wonderful feeling. I decided to forfeit and let Logan have the bath.

That night was the best night's sleep I've had in possibly months. I don't know if it was the lack of sleep in Auburn or the calcium pills or what. I didn't move. Tristan said he was so jealous hearing me snore all night. Wonderful, I snore.

Monday kicked off with us listening to and seeing Olivia. She's also head down. Wahoo! Next stop, my mom's for the kids' dresser and then to Auburn for Kimber's dog food [which we forgot anyways] to print out coupons for food and pick up the phone charger we forgot. We were greeted with a "what do you think you're doing here?" A serious warning to the sickness within the walls. Vomiting and diarrhea. Wonderful.

I started to panic already feeling hot and shakey, thinking this was what was next, dreading getting it. I kept telling myself, mine was from something I ate, or being pregnant, or hungry, doing anything to talk myself out of sickness... it worked.

My cuddly little snuggle monster is quite the charmer. I love it when I do something for him and don't think much of it, but he takes the time to say thank you. I love it when I sneeze or even cough and he's Supposed to be sleeping and I hear, "bless you mom". It makes me feel good inside.

That night I felt so much better I figured I would tackle laundry. Our bed was Covered. Logan woke up half way through and Tristan was working grave yard, and to be honest I just wanted to cuddle. I didn't even bother putting him back to bed in his own bed and told him to lay down while I did laundry. 3/4 way through my load Logan looks at me and says, "thank you mom." I said, "thank you for what?" Which led him to look around and then back at me, "doing laundry." Awwww, my heart stopped. Who in the entire world gets thanked for doing laundry? Especially by a 2yr old. I either have a serious sweet heart on my hands or a little boy that knows how to play his mother.

3:30am I get a call from Tristan. He's sick and shakey at work, ready to puke and wants me to call his supervisor [I have his phone since mine is busted and well, emergencies]. I'm thinking great, it's here. Of course, his wonderful supervisor didn't answer, and of course Tristan got sicker. I felt terrible and helpless and laid in bed unable to sleep, waiting for it. Heck, I even Dreamt about it. Luckily, I didn't get it.

Tristan's supervisor showed up a whole half hour early, whoo. When Tristan crawled in to bed I just imagined this giant bacteria laying next to me. It made it all that much more impossible to sleep or get comfortable. Especially when he jumped up to puke his guts out in our absolutely Not sound proof bathroom. I cringed, I even almost cried praying it wouldn't hit me.

That was Wednesday. Today is Thursday. I've felt sick and nauseous for the last couple days, trying to get in some carbonation to burp it up instead. So far, it's working? Or my immune system is just that good, or it just hasn't hit yet. Tristan was barely there, we were betting Logan or I would be first. Luckily neither, though I did hear some people just got nauseous so maybe I did get it and that was the worst of it? As of right now I'm wondering if Tristan will be my carrier and thinking if I can just make it through the next 24 hours I can stop worrying, something my brother says I'm doing too much of.

Ya, vomiting and diarrhea sound so wonderful, especially to a woman who's belly is holding a little skeleton. Imagine those heaving contractions or cramps. I think not. Logan, he's 2. If he gets sick there will be no warning and a big mess. Of course I'm worried.

We all slept in the front room last night, or were going to til Logan just got too restless. Tristan is sleeping now, but feels a lot better as far as symptoms go. Logan and I have been watching Christmas shows on Netflix, consisting of but not limited to; Veggie Tales, Barney and currently All Dogs Christmas.

I still feel kind of icky, more so in the fact that I think I'm coming down with an actual cold. I woke up the last two days with a little head ache and right now I feel achy icky. I don't want to be achy icky. I have vacuuming, dishes, laundry, organizing and mass sewing to do as well as a little trip to the store for some milk. Ugh. I'm tired but feeling more motivated right now, we had a Really lazy day yesterday. The more I moved the sicker I felt and I wasn't tempting fate. I am Completely grateful right now for mine and Logan's health, as well as Tristan not being as sick as some had gotten though he will be resting til his shift tomorrow. I just want to get all the cleaning done so we can cuddle up and finish our Harry Potter extravaganza.

Maybe it's hormones, but I'm feeling completely at peace and overwhelmed with love towards my two favorite guys. All I want to do is kiss and cuddle.

Oooooh! We bred a zombie. I taught Logan to eat people without biting them, which is soooo freaking cute. He'll eat my arm and my chicken and what not but it's Hilarious when he eats my neck cause he throws my head to the side and I imagine him just ripping me to shreds. Terrible I know, we've been watching a lot of zombies lately. Nom nom nom nom nom! ♥