For most of you this comes as no surprise. Like I've said before, Tristan and I have had our forgetful moments.
Recently the Braxton Hicks have been so prevalent that I almost forgot what it was like to feel Olivia on regular intervals. In some instances, I feel like I've gotten used to this weight and thus have adapted to it and don't feel pregnant at all, but rather round. Only when she tosses and turns do I realize once again that there is a little girl growing inside of me.
Tristan recently moved our shelf off the wall on my side of the bed. This is where Olivia's bassinet is going to go and it's safest this way. The room feels quite empty though without the actual bassinet. We have quite a bit to do, which Could be stressful except in knowing that what we have to do won't take much time, it's just a matter of doing it.
Last night was no exception to the recent flurry of acid reflux. I had no hopes of sleeping, or getting comfortable. [I've begun a new affair with Calcium Magnesium & Fish Oils - it's better than sleep meds] I propped myself on five or six pillows and laid on my back holding my tummy feeling Olivia when I could. As I did this I imagined her, then for some stupid reason I imagined how much time I had left to meet her.
Five and a half weeks to eight and a half weeks. A little over a month? Really? I started to panic. I couldn't breath. Labor. I'm going to have to deliver a baby in a little over a month. Am I ready for this? Was I ready the first time? Well, I was only ready because I didn't know what to expect. This time I'm scared. More so than with Logan.
I'm freaking out about where we're going to deliver. I'm freaking out about who's going to be there, about how it's going to happen. I just want it to be over with. I'm terrified and I want to know everything is going to be alright, I want to see her in my arms.