Saturday, October 8, 2011

I Miss Us

It's no mystery that Tristan and I haven't been getting along for a while now and some people think it's funny when I try confiding in them the hurts I have about it.

October 4th he packed up everything, and made sure he had Everything. I know he's not coming back. He needs space, we need space, and to figure out who we are as individuals and what we want as individuals. "We need to figure out who we are apart, to be together...." ??? I donno.

I don't love him any less than I did the first day I saw him. I miss him so much, I'm afraid he's not coming back and I'm trying to get my ass in gear to figure out what I'm going to do with me, now.

They say the number one reason relationships fail now a days is people fall out of love, then they give up. Yes, I've fallen in and out of love with Tristan, but I know it's temporary, and I still love and appreciate him as much as the first day I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him (day one).

I do miss who we were in the beginning, I  miss the visits, the excitement, him loving me back. We've had a rough couple of years with all kinds of challenges and this was the last straw. He wants to work on some things and try again later, but I know that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart. I'm afraid to lose him.

I can't stand the dog hair, him sleeping all day, the big mess from him not caring, us Never doing anything... but I love him. I love the life we created, I  love/loved us. I miss us, I miss him trying, I miss me trying and being aware. <//3

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