Saturday, January 14, 2012

Today is Our Valentine's Day

One night while catching myself settling for a relationship I didn't want I stopped it. I made a decision that I wanted and deserved better. I prayed about it, everything I wanted, needed and deserved. I also promised to just let it go, stop looking and be happy on my own. It didn't last very long. I found Tristan.

He was everything I didn't think I could have. He was ambitious, with dreams and likes aside from video games and alcohol. He wasn't just trying to get in to my pants, and he had a big heart. I knew in the beginning that he could be the one.

The day we were supposed to hang out was a scorcher. I was terrified to go, terrified my car would break down in the heat. A friend of mine told me that if I didn't go I might regret it for the rest of my life and I knew in that instant she was right. I made up my mind to go. I was terrified at first but as the hours passed I knew in my heart I would be sad to see him go, that I couldn't live without him and that he was the cork to fill the hole in my heart. ( I still feel that way now )

He would be telling me stories about his family, his nieces and nephews, his parents and my heart would be aching and yearning for more, to not be in the friend zone. He was a classy guy, a respectable guy. He had a dog. He had a good family, a big family. He still has all those, in fact the family is just getting bigger and better. His family is love, everything I ever wanted in a family, in my family. And now we're getting married, and if they'll truly let me in to their hearts they'll be my family too.

Not even going to lie, Tristan loves me unconditionally, flaws and all. How the hell did I ever get so lucky? Or deserve it. I can't believe where life has taken us so far. I can't wait to see where it has planned for us to go. I do know that I realized last year that I can't live another moment without him, without him knowing how much I love him. I know I can't wait for our lives to start as a married couple.

We hit patches, skids of ice, but we have each other in the end. I feel better through the hard times knowing that I have him by my side and I'm eternally grateful to have his love.

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