I'm quite excited to say and excited for my Halloween Baking Party on Monday. I'm not so sure as to whether or not my family will come and quite frankly I don't care because it started out as girl time and this excites me.
I've gone through countless recipes looking for the right menu and things to make together, among them being some spooky black bean dip and ham and cheese spiders. I also want to paint and carve pumpkins. I've started in the decorating and clearly the planning, who knew it'd be so much?
I can't help but wonder if it's the season or this party that got my sweet tooth going. I've indulged in caramellos, praline pumpkin pie, pumpkin ice cream, chocolate milk and tons of other countless goodies including my pumpkin spice white chocolate drinks at Starbucks, with no exception to this night.
At 7:30pm I started making a Smore's Pie... the recipe has been staring me down for a Long time. I thought that I should wait for a couple months, or even November, after the party since we're going to be indulging in so much there. I knew that if I didn't make it I was just going to explode. I have been lacking sleep for weeks and plan on staying up the three hours it needs to set to be edible. I'm terrible.
I can't help but wonder if it's not something else, like depression causing this sweet tooth, this need to sooth comfort food... or something like it.
Clearly I've been stressed out with my family, I didn't realize it effected me so much. I find myself walking around the house and just bursting in to sobs quite often and then crying more because I cried about it in the first place. I don't know why I find my family so upsetting at this point. Maybe because I find myself Actually trying and getting no where. I was told that my legs were broken? Me driving over an hour to see my family with the factors like me not having reliable transportation Or gas money counts for nothing. Me sending pictures and holiday cards on a regular basis for the last two years counts for nothing. I find this upsetting and yet I shouldn't be surprised.
I do feel the more that it gets to me the less healthy my choices are and I find myself refusing to want to gain as much as I did with my first. It doesn't help that Tristan has a case of the blues himself with all the stress we're enduring and him giving in to my goody whims to get his own.
The Goody Monster has attacked and I can only hope he'll be satisfied after a Very rich and chocolatey pie. If not, I'll only have pumpkin pie in November and wait for my Christmas Baking Party in December before I decide to strike back. ♥