I will say that I am the most happiest I have been in a long time, because we got a bed. I have not had a bed since 2005 when I was staying at my grandparents. When I say bed, I mean a queen size bed with a frame. So what, you may ask, have I been sleeping on for the last five years?
When I lived with my grandparents my bedroom was my sanctuary, it was beautiful, it was my home. I had it decorated like a shrine and I made my bed every day and had a bed skirt and fancy blankets... I missed having a bed more than anything in the world.
When I left there I traded it in for a twin on the bottom part of a bunk bed. Hooray for me, not. It was rather small and my sister had the top. When I moved she moved and when she moved I moved. I hate bunk beds for the record. At least that one. I will also say that it is impossible to cuddle with someone in a twin bed, let alone fall asleep with them.
I then moved to New Hampshire where I got the luxury of sleeping on the mattress part of a futon on the floor for some odd months before moving it to hard wood floors. This was Way more uncomfortable then a twin bed, and a lot more dirtier... I hate being on the floor.
When I got back I was yet again on the bottom half of a bunk bed, a futon mattress, with busted bars underneath and every night was a pain in the back! This lasted for some odd months before moving back to a twin bed.
It just so happens that this house that we had moved to had and still has the nastiest carpets in the world because the landlord is ... shouldn't be a landlord and did not care how filthy, stained or gross the carpets were. Hooray for me my mother had a metal frame that collapsed from... off the streets she let me... "borrow". This was a pain in the butt and rather smaller still and quite uncomfortable. Oh, sleepless nights. I had it on the floor for a while, it Was collapsible.
I eventually moved upstairs and lost the metal frame, unfortunately Not the twin mattress. I bought a rug piece to put underneath the mattress and slept on the floor a good half, no, all of my pregnancy.
When Tristan and I started dating we tried everything. The twin mattress, a queen sized box spring minus the mattress, thanks mom, a foam mattress on top of the box spring, a floor. Cuddling is impossible without the proper utensils.
When we moved my room grew five sizes too small and I went back to the twin bed, mainly the floor when Tristan visited and when I moved in with my dad I had a leaky air mattress that I had to personally blow up every night and my butt still woke up on the floor.
Upon our moving in to our new apartment we had an air mattress, still leak proof that was somewhat more manageable, stole the mattress topper, that worked for a while. Still on the floor. I believe it was Tristan's sister that was every so gracious enough to bless us with a queen sized bed, HALLELUJAH! And his mother who was too kind enough to deliver it. It was the first time in years I had slept on a queen sized bed, except the first two days after Logan was born and the month we were homeless and I stayed at the Haynes' home.
I was quite pleased, minus the stinky dog that slept at the end of our bed that also liked to rub up against and sleep up against our blankets and throw her hairy wet toys on to our bed. [Thanks Kimber] No matter how many times I washed the blankets I didn't/couldn't feel clean and this pregnancy has not helped with those feelings. In fact, I feel like a cleaning bee. It's all I do anymore. Sad day.
However, there stood a chance of hope in our storage unit, the problem was getting it. After many tears were shed Tristan finally said screw it and threw it on the top of his Durango and last night was our first night with a bed, a full queen size bed with a box spring and frame!
The worst part about it is that Tristan worked graveyard and I was reminded of my fears and phobias... of bed frames. True story. I generally frame myself with pillows and tuck my feet in somewhat tight, but not too tight and stay away from the edges, careful not to let anything dangle. Yes, I will remind you that I am 25yrs old. I am still a baby and terrified of the dark. Needless to say I have watched Way too many scary movies at Way too young of an age. Lucky me.
I kept telling myself all night that if there were little monsters under there surely Kimber would hear them and bark and I would be warned, woke up and saved. This sort of helped. Or it would have if I hadn't been having terribly graphic and horrendous nightmares all week. We're talking the kind where you wake up in the middle of the night and you're so tired you want to cry but when you close your eyes you're thrown back in to your own reality, the kind where you wake up and just want to be held. Last night and lately I have been having nightmare layered on top of nightmare, but there was no Tristan butt I could back up in to, no comfort or warmth and Logan only woke up once and though I tempted myself to let him come cuddle I knew it wouldn't be for the best.
These nightmares have me in a frenzy, afraid to dangle my legs off the bed, afraid to get up and pee, afraid to get water or even look down the hallway of my own house. These nightmares have me waking up in bad moods and leaving me grouchy for some time if Tristan doesn't hold me first thing in the morning and sooth that icky feeling. These nightmares have me feeling depressed.
I went so far as to call my midwife today and she recommends Tylenol pm and extra calcium magnesium to help me reach a deeper state of sleep. We shall see, if not then I guess I get to deal with horrendous nightmares only Not to wake up from them.