Mes Cheveux

My hair. *sigh* Where do I begin? I have had almost any hair color and any hair style you can think of, except wicked long. I have never been able to grow my hair out to my dream length because I get bored with it, with myself and I cut it. It seems I feel more comfortable with short hair, it's crazy and chaotic, and messy and fits my personality.

This is me in 2006 when I lived in NH. This is my hair growing out from a shaved head, yes, shaved head. I will spare you and Not post a picture. I cut it myself and this is what it looked like.


This is me in 2007. I got bored with my hair and wanted something spunky. I miss it at this length as crazy as it was.


This is me in 2008 or early 2009, I went hippie after I got pregnant. Went all natural and "mother-ish" and grew out my hair. This is the longest it's been ... ever.


This is again 2009, right before Tristan and I got together.... almost right before I cut it.


Me being insatiable and taking matters in to my own hands, cutting my hair.


Thanksgiving 2009.

I realize unfortunately that I have not taken any pictures of myself. At least not nearly as many as I used to and especially not with my hair down. This is kind of sad now that I think about it. Right now my hair is in the process of being long. It feels weird having long hair and I don't know if it's "me". I don't know if that makes Any sense what so ever, I just know that I am in constant debate about growing it out to nearly my butt, or cutting it short and crazy again, and no not shaved short.

I often wonder if it's because I'm bored with it or because I really like it short. I like the messy tangle that is my hair and in truth I only grew it out because I thought it was more motherly and mature. I also think that long hair is beautiful and I thought that if I grew my hair out I too could be like all the other beautiful girls. Somehow, I just don't think I have the hair that they do.

Bangs or no bangs? Length or no length? Flat iron or curling iron? Up or down? Color or natural? So many freaking choices and I can't have them all. Sometimes I wish I could have a wig, then I feel bad and truly think of people with cancer and this scares me. I've gotten nearly everything I've ever asked for and truly wearing a wig is not one of them.

I just want to know what's me, what looks best, what feels best, while looking somewhat sane. For some reason when I shaved my head people thought I was crazy, even though I had it like that for a couple years. It wasn't until after I had Logan and my hair was wicked long that people told me I was doing great. This correlation kind of scares me.

I'm half tempted to cut it myself, half tempted to go to a salon, all the while not wanting to cut it at all and just grow grow grow... *big sigh* I have no idea what to do. I just know that I wear it up more than I wear it down, that I don't have the time or rather take the time to do anything with it and I keep telling myself, "when it gets longer", but How Much longer? And when it's shorter and crazy it's down all the time and looks cute and just oy!

This is my debate, a debate that's been turning in my head my whole life... my hair. Maybe I'll do something with it tomorrow and take pictures of Logan and myself, or maybe even Tristan and I, it's been too damn long. ♥